A second thought

"Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky

And all that I can see is just a yellow Lemon tree"

Yet one day…

You said I could feel

And I believed you 

You showed me the sky

I reached for the stars

Why did you cut my wings?

'You won't regret trusting me'

Liar.

You said I could feel

I denied it

Liars.

Abel

Happy

You said I could feel

I cannot.

I was never hurt—I will never heal.

You showed me love,

And I can never understand

But know that if I could,

If any happiness of mine were true,

I would be happy the way I am.

I live the simple life of a man

A soulless man, a happy man

The simple life of

A soulless man happy to never feel happy.

And you said I could feel.

Abel

Close your eyes,

Killer of the night;

Cross your arms.

I give you this flower,

Withered like my dreams,

'Tis the white chrysantemum,

The flower of the dead.

Oh slayer from the dark,

You kill less than I do.

I may be the sinner,

but this sin I will undo.

Cards for sorrow,

Cards for pain.

Savior from the light,

May you be their guide,

In a world like this,

In a world insane.

Unreal ~ Perception

Everything seems

so distant

so faraway

Are you there?

Wait,

I don't care.

I see you

I don't acknowledge you

I feel you

My mind doesn't.

Who are you?

Your name means..

Nothing.

You're just there.

And I don't care.

Humiliation

Rage

Indifference

Unknown

That's how I see you

You're just

a mere notion

a simple thought.

You don't exist.

For me,

you are unreal.

You

Never happened.

You're not part

of my world.

But in such a world

where people don't exist

where people mean nothing

Who am I?

In my darkest hours, I could not foresee that the tide could turn so fast to this degree

Please, please forgive me. If I had even known I would sink so low, I would have done this so very long ago. I promised myself I would never, ever make this same mistake---and I will hold true to my word. I am.

You will never see me again. Hear me again. Feel me again. When I lay cold in the ground, only then will I cease to haunt you, only then will things be set right. Only then will you be truly safe from me. I will never come back for you.

Sweet beverage touches my lips, but sweeter is the darkness soon to follow. Nevermore, nevermore will I have to worry, will you have to fear. I won’t do this, I won’t. This is the last thing I can trust about myself. My resolution will bring this to an end.

It has to.


Unknown

What does loyalty even mean anymore?

I can’t say I really remember ever being loyal to anyone or anything except myself. All my life has been just ‘gain trust, act innocent, betray’, rinse and repeat. I can never seem to truly dedicate myself to someone other than me.

And now I can’t get to trust anyone either. I just can’t. Why should I? If I can’t trust myself to stay loyal to someone else, why in the world would anyone be loyal to me?


Unknown

#239 - Dinosaur

It was a normal morning like any other in that rather dysfunctional group of ours. I’d say the sun was shining and other heartwarming and pretty lies, but truth is, it was as cold as hell would be if it had indeed frozen over---which, after today, I think it just might have---and snow was blowing around the icy tower as though it was mad at the world. The sky was clouded and grayish, with dark clouds in the distance telling us that we were far from seeing the Sun anytime soon…

I woke up at dawn like always, even though the Sun wouldn’t be greeting me. Not that it ever did in the snowy winter hell that was Jotunheim. I held back my usual urge to yell and wake up everyone, as I didn’t particularly feel like being torn to shreds by a PMS-ing Jenova, and climbed up the endless sets of winding stairs all the way to the aviary, which was around the second to last floor or so. Don’t ask me why there’s an aviary there, it’s not like any of them could fly out in this weather to deliver any letters or something. Not that I’m complaining, they make for rather good company, at least better than most of my humanoid companions, especially a certain scaly one. Yes, I’m talking about you, Mentalis.

I was feeding the birds, swiping some birdseed for myself every now and then, when I heard it. A loud, ear-piercing roar coming from downstairs… knowing my brother, probably from his lab.

Shit, Daemys, what ancient, powerful and life-hating force have you unleashed on all of us now?

The whole tower trembles as whatever roared decides that it hasn’t woken up everyone yet and must do its job properly.

I go downstairs, very intent on blowing someone’s brains out for this mess, and find myself staring at what was left of a wall. There’s an enormous hole in it, created by some mysterious force that I now suspect didn’t quite like being confined in tiny spaces. Moments later, said brother pops his head out of his lab, face ebony apparently from something having blown up. I raise an eyebrow.

“Oops,” is all he says.

Suddenly I notice a much larger, scaly head staring at me from the other side of the destroyed wall. It has tiny, squinting, evil eyes that sparkle hungrily and very large claws and teeth. My jaw hangs wide open.

There’s  fucking T-rex in the tower!

Oops indeed.


Kris

#250 - Octopus

“...Octopus?”

I hadn’t really expected that, not really. I mean, I might be a fish and all, but a stuffed octopus?

It’s purple, with light blue blushes on its cheeks, and big, teary eyes. It has a painted mouth, curled upwards in a smile, even though, you know, octopuses wouldn’t have their mouth on the front like that and they wouldn’t be smiling. Still, it’s…

Oh god. It’s rather cute.

….There, I said it. What’s the world coming to?


Unknown